Nothing Ever Is
by Alexandria Kana
Summary: A short story of Sarah dealing with lock up and Derek's death.


Title: Nothing ever is...

Author: Alexandria Kanaras

Rating: PG-13

Pairing Sarah/Derek

Disclaimer: Not mine

Author Note's: I wrote this little piece before actually seeing the episode where Derek gets shot. So it's kind of AU.

*_*_*_*_*

The inside of the room is bare. All objects that could be used as weapons had been removed. They messed up... left her the bed frame. A man was in the ICU somewhere nursing that mistake. Her hand was swollen and bruised, she couldn't feel two of her fingers. It registered somewhere that fact should concern her, but they were coated in red and flecks of white and she couldn't see anything past that.

No one was too forgiving when you swung a metal bar at a man's head. The blood was still in the corner, across the bottom of the door. They didn't care enough to clean it up or no one was stupid enough to try. They didn't have the man power to control her so they didn't try.

The door opened, she raised her head enough to look at the intruder through the fall of her hair. "Felony Assault on an officer... I thought you didn't have it in you."

"You can't keep me in here forever. I'll get out. I always get out."

Ellison just shrugged, like the thought didn't trouble him in the least. "The man you're with... his fingerprints match a set in the database. Derek Reese."

"Reese is dead."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"You don't know my loss."

James frowned, watching as she glared at him from the veil of her bangs, real pain hidden beneath the coldness in her voice. "He was something to you... and for that I'm sorry you lost him."

"You picked your side. When it comes... you'll know the hell you've brought on yourself." He left then... he'd be back, back to pick at wounds still bleeding.

*_*

Time flows differently here. It serves and bends at will. She counts the time in meals. 66 meals, 22 days. 12 meals since his last visit. She doesn't look up this time when the door opens. He steps in and glances across the space. "...taking your life in your own hands... that's one crazy bitch."

A voice follows him in, an orderly who gives her a healthy berth every time they have to come in here... she actually scares people here. She never could scare the one that mattered the most.

"You still giving them a hard time?" He frowns as he sees the way she's holding her hand. Resting on the edge of her knee, still swollen, the bruises deepening. "They should splint that."

"No one is stupid enough to try. I might kill them with the ace bandage." the outside two fingers are hanging loosely.

"There is talk of sedating you, doing surgery."

"Not worth the hassle." Sarah states seeing his masked surprise, she knew that was right. Hit right on the head.

"I can't find John." He states it simply, like stating the color of the sky. It's a fact and it annoys him.

"Doesn't surprise me. He's a smart boy." She closes her eyes, the faces of the dead haunting her. Flashing before her eyes, John's face when he learned the truth, saw the truth. The anger that edged into them a little more each day. "He always listened to me... even when he didn't... he did." Her eyes opened and stared directly at him, "You're never going to find him."

"I don't have to... he'll come for you."

Sarah lunged at him when he tried to take a picture, the camera shattering when it hit the wall. She backed into the corner when the others rushed in ready to defend and subdue.

James had settled himself into the other one. "It's okay... I think we understand each other." The orderly, the smart one, shot James a disbelieving look.

"I warned you... she's one crazy bitch."

She just smiled.

*_*

The world was tilted... fuzzy around the edges. 88 meals before they decided to dose her food with something, a sedative most likely. She didn't eat for 4 days. Counted the trays that went away full. The fifth breakfast was sealed... everything was sealed after wards. She ate. They learned that lesson.

*_*

It was timing... everything came down to timing. And she picked the absolute worst time to crack. "You miss me."

"I do not miss you." She growled under her breathe. Ellison pulled open the door. Derek was lounged across her bed. Arms behind his head. She had backed herself into the corner. Trying to get as far from him as possible in the small room.

"Why don't you sit down..." James said when he stared at her, just to the side of the door. He was learning too.

"Yeah... why don't you sit down." She glared at the bed... the man on the bed who wasn't actually on the bed just smirked at her. Tapping the space beside him invitingly.

"Sarah?" Her eyes snapped back to Ellison. "Someone sent you something." He held out the letter, watching as she stared at it... "It won't bite."

"From John..." She closed her eyes, his voice grating her nerves. "Probably a plan."

"You want it?"

"Put it on the bed." James nods, setting it on the edge. She frowns as Derek slides away from it.

"Not that easy Sarah..." Derek set his hand over it... "Now you have to come get it." She pulls it from him and ignores the resistance his fingers provide. She reads it, feeling him behind her.

"I'm doing well... don't worry. Tin Man and Scarecrow are providing coverage of passage. We'll see each other soon.

Love you.

John

Ps... good job with the camera."

"Metal and someone... who is the scarecrow?" Reese's voice, in her ear again. She tilted her head and jumped when her shoulders brushed something solid. "He thinks you've finally lost it." She glances at him to see him staring at Ellison.

"Tin Man and Scarecrow?"

"Wizard of Oz. He's safe." He frowns as he watches her settle down on the bed.

"With her? His sister."

"She's not his sister."

"Probably more trouble now. With him and her alone." Derek again. "Should have got rid of her when I told you too."

"Well she's not dead." Sarah mumbles watching as James glanced to the bare room again.

"Who are you talking too?"

"The dead."

Ellison raised an eyebrow.

"He already thinks you're playing crazy. Why not give him a whole show for free?"

"You sure your alright?" Ellison glances at her hand, the swelling was down but the outside dipped funny and her two fingers only worked when they felt like it. 50/50 most of the time.

*_*_*

"You're dead... leave me alone. You can't bitch at me from the dead. Dying lost you that right."

"Obviously I can."

"It's not fair."

"It's not unfair. John is coming for you."

"I know."

"He'll get you out Sarah."

"He shouldn't." 134 meals. "It's not safe."

"He's a good kid... he'll do it safely or he won't do it at all. You'd kill him if he risked himself and got caught."

"I'll kill him anyways."

"It wasn't your fault."

"I wasn't there..."

"You didn't know."

"I should have. I should have... I was so"

"Sarah...' she jumps as his hands slide over hers 'this wasn't your fault. It wasn't... really...' she looked at him, really looked at him. Feeling his hands cup her face. 'Shit happens."

"This is bad shit."

"You can't control everything." She broke from his grip, watching as his hands dropped to his side.

"Shut up."

*_*

The boom is deafening. The weight over her gives way to smoke and debris. "Fuck." Hands surround her. "On your feet Connor." She grunts as the world spins slightly off axis.

"The dead really shouldn't be able to touch me."

"Move!" Cameron meets her halfway.

"See you around Sarah."

"Shut up Reese."

"Reese is dead." Cameron informed and Sarah glared at her. "John is waiting for you."

"No Shit."

*_*

John watched as Cameron lifted his mother into the truck. "What happened to your hand?"

"Why aren't you driving?" He smirked, pressing the gas. She tilts back and see Reese sitting near her foot.

"Didn't think it would be that easy to get rid of me did you Conner?" Nothing ever is...


End file.
